Monday, August 9, 2010

A Public Message from Zombie Steve

Zombie Steve here with a few words to you, the person reading these words

You found your way to this blog by one of two means:  Accidentally or intentionally.

If it is the former, then I don't know how the hell that happened.  But read on, seeker. Learn about our lives as zombies.  Gain insight about the world in which we live.  And when I say we, I mean us zombies, not you warm fleshed, uneaten, mostly intelligent anthropoids.  You can find out about your lives by living them.

If it is the later, you are either a zombie yourself or a friend of a zombie.  But between you and me, there is no such thing as a friend of a zombie.  If you think you are a friend of a zombie, then here is a little known secrete: You are just a walking, talking, somewhat amusing future snack for the zombie with whom you think you are friends. In any event, read on to learn about the same garbage as everyone else. And when I say garbage, I mean highly intellectual, thought provoking and pertinent information about the world in which we all live and unlive.

That last sentence had three words that I do not know the definition too, but they sounded good.

Now, I like to end a blog with a little known fact I found on the web somewhere so I can feel superior and important. So here it goes:

Should you say octopuses, or octopi?

The word Octopus was brought into the English language somewhere in the Great Britain Olden times.  I know... real specific, huh?  Well bite me.  And if you do, you will become a zombie.  I think.

Back to the point.  When the word Octopus was brought into the language, the English speakers added the typical 'es' to the end of the word to make it a plural.  Sometime later, scholars wanted to normalize the English language by using some of the grammatical rules of Latin, and so the term 'octopi' came into being and is now commonly used to this day.

But here is the rub:  Those scholars were complete jackasses.  The word octopus is not Latin, but rather has its roots in ancient Greek. The more clever of these jackasses deferred to the rules of Greek grammar and came up with octopedes.

But one last comment.  If these scholars had put down their pints of mead and let their heads clear, they would have realized something:  When a foreign word is subsumed into the English language, it becomes an english word and the rules of English grammar should apply.  So in fact, the the word 'octopuses' is just fine.

But I really like octopedes, and will be using that from now on.

If you don't believe me, check it out at Merriam-Webster.

Now that you have a piece of my mind, can I have a piece of yours?  I'm a little hungry.

Goodbye for now,

Zombie Steve

"Life is short.  Become a zombie"

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